after a kiss its only right you give me another one... and another one... and maybe a few more

every north american needs to go to a rural state fair or equivalent. get some 1:1 with farm animals. see the gallery of squished clay pots made by local 3rd graders in art class. go into the funhouse spray-painted with bootleg donkey kong. eat a fresh corndog.

When I’m bored I’ll start miming punching and kicking my friends. They’ve always been like “wtf are you doing” and it was only recently that I realized this is just something we do in my family when my mom swiftly and wordlessly mimed blocking and parrying my hits 

My brother’s always done the same thing of course but I always assumed I just corrupted him. It never occurred to me that I might have gotten this from my mom

Okay to be clear I don’t mime beating the shit out of my friends. That’s ludicrous. I mime getting into elaborate martial arts battles with them, giving them ample time to block my blows and leaving my torso wide open for hits. It is supposed to be a two-person show

being an adult and buying your own shit is so weird i don't understand why anything is priced the way it is. why did my tattoo cost 8 toothpastes? why does a pair of socks cost a sandwich but a fancy dinner costs a whole jacket? why is book the same cost as 2 bag frozen vegetables? nothing makes sense i just wanna steal.

Token Straight Friend™️ strikes again

reading an ao3 description and continuing to scroll as if you didn’t just suffer intense psychological damage 

imagine being into beatles rpf and being anti polyamory. like what do you think they were all doing in that submarine

17833 original discourse topics remain.

Light Yagami 🤝 Walter White

Having people talk about your "slow descent into corruption" as if that motherfucker didn't see a slippery slope and grab a sled

mostly i just like to chill out. but if someone opens the door of my enclosure or taps on the window i like going crazy

walter white antics